fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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