Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
