i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize