Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
