Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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