ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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