i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she told me i tasted like america
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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