didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
