How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
