I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
