Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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