do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize