If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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