I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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