I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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