He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
