This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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