Where did you get a picture of my penis
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
