he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize