so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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