am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
