i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
