exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
