I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
