Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
