She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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