Buhtt sex?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
