i already hear my dad disowning me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
