Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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