More tranny stories later!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
