awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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