Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
