what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
