"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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