I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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