I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
