I could make wine with my vomit
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
