You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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