Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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