I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
