meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
