So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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