how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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