I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
handjob tips. give me some.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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