I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
