Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
