Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
