is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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