He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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