dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
