I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
