I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
