On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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