Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My vagina is very pro this idea
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