Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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