Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You may now shotgun with the bride
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
