Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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