the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize