normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
