I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
