is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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