I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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