I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize