and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
smell my finger.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
