Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
