Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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